Surviving Winter Break
Jeff Hutchinson
Issue date: 12/9/04 Section: TruLife
Freshman Laura Kresl said she is worried about going home for her first winter break.
"I love my family, but sometimes I think that they do just kind of kill you," Kresl said.
Kresl, like many students, is looking forward to enjoying home-cooked meals, sleeping in and seeing old friends. Living at home during break, however, can lead to conflict between students and family members, however.
Kresl said she thinks spending more time with her parents will be enjoyable at first, but worsen as the break goes on.
"I think that the first week will be a lot of fun because there's shopping and there's food and they are off from work," Kresl said. "But then they are going to expect me to do vacuuming again and chores, and I don't want to do that. It is my vacation."
Kresl also said she worries that her parents' expectations of her time with them will get in the way of what she wants to do while she is home, like spending time with her friends.
While home for Thanksgiving, she said her father took off from work so that he could spend time with her. Because of this, she spent less time with her friends.
She said she thinks the same thing will happen during winter break, but she does not know how to tell her parents she would rather spend more time with her friends.
"You can't be like, 'Look, I love you, but get away from me,'" Kresl said. "You can't say that. Not when they buy you all this stuff."
She said she plans to spend a week away from home over the break visiting a friend from school. To avoid conflict, she said she told her parents about her plans far ahead of time.
"I gave them forewarning, so they have time to just get used to the idea that I won't be there," Kresl said.
Brian Krylowicz, director of University Counseling Services, said the best way for students to deal with parents who want to spend more time with them is through open communication.
He said students should tell their parents ahead of time what they are going to do or what they plan to do so that they will not surprise their parents.
"Most parents, even though there are some exceptions, tend to be willing to understand that things will change," Krylowicz said.
Sophomore Stacy Peter said going home for break causes stress for both her parents and herself
She said both she and her younger brother are away at school and her parents adjusted to life by themselves.
"Now that we both come home, it is a little overwhelming for them," Peter said. "They are not used to all the traffic in the house, and us coming home late."
To remedy this problem, Peter said she tries to stay out of the house as much as possible by working and spending time with friends.
Krylowicz said students need to understand parents are making a big transition in life as well. He said many parents start to question their role in life once their children go off to college. Students need to be aware of these changes in their parents' lives.
"Sometimes we think that parents should know these things," Krylowicz said. "But they are clueless about a lot of this stuff."
Not all students fear going home for break.
Senior Laura Ginsberg said she enjoys it because she never encounters problems with her parents during breaks at home.
"I have the coolest parents in the world," Ginsberg said. "They are just totally laid-back and relaxed."
She said her parents let her have the same freedoms at home she has at school. After a late night of partying, she said she can come home at 3 a.m. and her parents do not care.
"I can pretty much do whatever I want," Ginsberg said.
Ginsberg said she also likes to go home because her mother is a professional chef, and she cooks amazing food.
Aside from the good food, Ginsberg said she likes that her parents take her shopping.
"Everything is free," Ginsberg said. "You don't have to pay for anything, which is probably the best part."
Going home this time is different than usual, she said. Because she graduates in December, Ginsberg said when she leaves Kirksville, it will be for good.
"This time it will be a little sad because I know that this is it, and I have to say goodbye to college and all my friends," Ginsberg said. "So that will be a little different."
Unlike the case with Ginsberg, Krylowicz said losing certain freedoms can be one of the hardest things for students to deal with when they go home for break.
"When you have freedom and then you go back to not having as much freedom or more accountability with an individual, it is hard to lose that," Krylowicz said.
Krylowicz said students need to understand that parents do not see them growing and becoming independent away from home, so sometimes it is hard for parents to accept that their children have changed.
Senior Mandi Sagez said she enjoys spending time with her two brothers when she goes home.
She said living apart from her siblings made their relationships stronger, especially with one who also is in college.
"We never talked much when we were in high school," Sagez said. "Now that he is in college, we have a lot more in common, so we talk more now."
Sagez also said she enjoys total freedom while she lives at home during break. Even though she can do whatever she wants, she said she knows it still hurts her parents when she does not spend time with them.
"Sometimes my mom gets sad when I go out with my friends," Sagez said. "She never stops me from going though."
If parents do act overbearing, Krylowicz said students need to remember that they do it out of love.
"Understand when your parents are driving you nuts, they're most likely doing it because they love and care about you," Krylowicz said.
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"I love my family, but sometimes I think that they do just kind of kill you," Kresl said.
Kresl, like many students, is looking forward to enjoying home-cooked meals, sleeping in and seeing old friends. Living at home during break, however, can lead to conflict between students and family members, however.
Kresl said she thinks spending more time with her parents will be enjoyable at first, but worsen as the break goes on.
"I think that the first week will be a lot of fun because there's shopping and there's food and they are off from work," Kresl said. "But then they are going to expect me to do vacuuming again and chores, and I don't want to do that. It is my vacation."
Kresl also said she worries that her parents' expectations of her time with them will get in the way of what she wants to do while she is home, like spending time with her friends.
While home for Thanksgiving, she said her father took off from work so that he could spend time with her. Because of this, she spent less time with her friends.
She said she thinks the same thing will happen during winter break, but she does not know how to tell her parents she would rather spend more time with her friends.
"You can't be like, 'Look, I love you, but get away from me,'" Kresl said. "You can't say that. Not when they buy you all this stuff."
She said she plans to spend a week away from home over the break visiting a friend from school. To avoid conflict, she said she told her parents about her plans far ahead of time.
"I gave them forewarning, so they have time to just get used to the idea that I won't be there," Kresl said.
Brian Krylowicz, director of University Counseling Services, said the best way for students to deal with parents who want to spend more time with them is through open communication.
He said students should tell their parents ahead of time what they are going to do or what they plan to do so that they will not surprise their parents.
"Most parents, even though there are some exceptions, tend to be willing to understand that things will change," Krylowicz said.
Sophomore Stacy Peter said going home for break causes stress for both her parents and herself
She said both she and her younger brother are away at school and her parents adjusted to life by themselves.
"Now that we both come home, it is a little overwhelming for them," Peter said. "They are not used to all the traffic in the house, and us coming home late."
To remedy this problem, Peter said she tries to stay out of the house as much as possible by working and spending time with friends.
Krylowicz said students need to understand parents are making a big transition in life as well. He said many parents start to question their role in life once their children go off to college. Students need to be aware of these changes in their parents' lives.
"Sometimes we think that parents should know these things," Krylowicz said. "But they are clueless about a lot of this stuff."
Not all students fear going home for break.
Senior Laura Ginsberg said she enjoys it because she never encounters problems with her parents during breaks at home.
"I have the coolest parents in the world," Ginsberg said. "They are just totally laid-back and relaxed."
She said her parents let her have the same freedoms at home she has at school. After a late night of partying, she said she can come home at 3 a.m. and her parents do not care.
"I can pretty much do whatever I want," Ginsberg said.
Ginsberg said she also likes to go home because her mother is a professional chef, and she cooks amazing food.
Aside from the good food, Ginsberg said she likes that her parents take her shopping.
"Everything is free," Ginsberg said. "You don't have to pay for anything, which is probably the best part."
Going home this time is different than usual, she said. Because she graduates in December, Ginsberg said when she leaves Kirksville, it will be for good.
"This time it will be a little sad because I know that this is it, and I have to say goodbye to college and all my friends," Ginsberg said. "So that will be a little different."
Unlike the case with Ginsberg, Krylowicz said losing certain freedoms can be one of the hardest things for students to deal with when they go home for break.
"When you have freedom and then you go back to not having as much freedom or more accountability with an individual, it is hard to lose that," Krylowicz said.
Krylowicz said students need to understand that parents do not see them growing and becoming independent away from home, so sometimes it is hard for parents to accept that their children have changed.
Senior Mandi Sagez said she enjoys spending time with her two brothers when she goes home.
She said living apart from her siblings made their relationships stronger, especially with one who also is in college.
"We never talked much when we were in high school," Sagez said. "Now that he is in college, we have a lot more in common, so we talk more now."
Sagez also said she enjoys total freedom while she lives at home during break. Even though she can do whatever she wants, she said she knows it still hurts her parents when she does not spend time with them.
"Sometimes my mom gets sad when I go out with my friends," Sagez said. "She never stops me from going though."
If parents do act overbearing, Krylowicz said students need to remember that they do it out of love.
"Understand when your parents are driving you nuts, they're most likely doing it because they love and care about you," Krylowicz said.